You only get wrinkles where the smiles have been

Now then, who has found (and used) the Zoom tool that allows you to smooth your skin’s appearance? At the press of a button you might lose years in terms of your online appearance. Why would anyone be that vain to feel the need to use such a facility? But then as I think I might have mentioned before, I have been amused (tinged with just a little sadness) over those online pictures of people who, when you meet them in real life, you realise their photos were clearly taken 10 years or so before.

Apparently there really is a button on Zoom that allows you to make yourself look younger, more vibrant, and attractive. Really? The Covid lockdowns and our embracing of a virtual world of communication had some unexpected consequences. One of these made me smile last week. It was a report that suggested that men were more likely to press that button than ever before, and not only that, but seek to do something rather more drastic too. The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPs) last week reported that 30% of their members have seen a massive increase in consultations with men for what has been described as ‘tweakments’. The most popular tweakment is Botox, said to smooth out the wrinkles in your skin. Like many things, good and bad, the pandemic apparently is to blame.

Many of us have spent the past year staring at ourselves on the screen during Zoom and Teams meetings, and it seems that many men don’t like what they see. Now I have never pressed the youthful look button and wouldn’t have Botox injections, but I will admit to turning my laptop camera on to see what I look like before starting a meeting. I wonder how many of you, dear readers, do so too. However, these past three weeks I have been meeting real people in real life situations, and it’s been great.

I had forgotten how good it was to put a suit and shirt back on and best of all, being able to wear my clogs once more. You can do Zoom and Teams meetings barefoot. And I have the world’s greatest collection of different coloured clogs. Things are different now. Some of the Covid restrictions have been eased, and whilst social distancing and mask-wearing remain, I have been able to move into my new office and meet many of my new colleagues face to face. What a difference it makes to establishing, nurturing and maintaining effective relationships. I recently blogged about the importance of trust in building and sustaining relationships. For me, this is something that will be at the heart of my relationships with colleagues, stakeholders, patients and the communities they live in. Gaining this trust won’t happen overnight.

Interestingly for me, I also attended a webinar last week that looked at the future role of Non-Executive Directors and indeed, Trust Boards themselves. Building and sustaining effective relationships was a theme than ran through the discussion. In many Boards there can be a rift in the relationships between the Executive Director group and the Non-Executive Directors. It is an easy place for a Board to find itself in. Too often, the Executive Directors are not recognised as being part of the Board itself. A strange thing to say, but it’s true. They can be seen simply as a conduit of evidence that provides assurance. Yet, like the Non-Executive Directors, they too will have life experiences, knowledge and skills that the whole Board can benefit from, if they are encouraged and supported to do so. The whole Board needs to be bigger and better than the sum of its parts. Like many other teams and relationships, that means creating a safe environment for diverse views to be aired, where constructive challenge can happen and a space created for change to occur. This is not always easy, and again getting to this stage of a Board’s development won’t happen overnight.

My thinking is to start small and build from that; stop talking about the need for change, and make it happen. Which is what I have been doing over these past few weeks. The first tangible sign of change will be our June Board meeting, which once again will be held live, with colleagues sitting around an actual table and not a virtual one. Of course, for those not quite ready to do that we will still connect virtually, but most folk appear quite keen to get together in this way. Coming together will, I believe, be a brilliant way to contribute to our journey towards becoming an ‘outstanding’ organisation.   

I want, (and my Mum would tell me off for saying that) to have a Board that was intent on building relationships that give legitimacy and transparency to our decision-making; that ensures we effectively control the resources we have in working on our own, but also in an interdependent way with others; to add value to the culture and life of the wider organisation and to ensure that culture is ethical and values driven. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. 

Over these past three weeks I have found myself smiling at both the opportunities we can collectively create in making a difference every day. I know that smiles will leave wrinkles, but I won’t be having any Botox injections – I think in my case wrinkles add character, and I have to say, that’s enough.