Don’t judge the year by one cold meatball - there is another year waiting, just around the corner

Last Friday night, after driving some 500 miles with a hire van loaded with furniture and some 20 years’ worth of ‘stuff’ from two different houses, I got home totally exhausted. However, after a shower, and a large glass of the red stuff, I started to cook dinner. It was a simple meal of vegetarian meat balls in a rich tomato sauce, flavoured with the ‘honey glazed parsnips’ that I forgot to cook on Christmas Day and pasta. Despite being tired, I do so like cooking; for me, it’s definitely therapeutic. I was a little taken aback when one dinner guest declared that one of her meatballs (strictly Quorn Swedish Style meatless Meat Balls) was cold! Given they had been cooked in the oven for 25 minutes and then stirred into the tomato sauce and simmered for a further five minutes before serving, it was difficult to understand why she should have one cold meatball. 

  

However, she loyally declared ‘that one should not judge a meal by one cold meatball’, gave the offending meatball to Billy the parrot to eat and carried on. I like her style… a lot. Usually, at this time of the year, I write a blog about what has happened in the last 12 months and reflect on what has been my thinking or actions regarding the year’s events. This year has felt a little like that cold meatball. Of all my 63 years of life, it has certainly been a very different year than those experienced previously. It was my first full year of retirement and like many others I suspect, I have wondered how I ever found the time to work – but the year has flashed by, and I have been engagingly busy for much of the time. 

It hasn’t been all good. My long-time marriage ended, and although I am sure that some others might disagree, it was principally my actions that predicated the separation. Almost overnight, many of the dreams for a shared older life, dreams that had been worked for over such a long period were gone. I have a new person in my life now. She makes me happy every single day and I know we made the only choice the two of us could authentically make, but the disruption, hurt, anger and anxiety of the marriage breakdown reverberated across the whole of my extensive extended family. Some of those wounds are healing, but others are still naturally very raw. 

Some things that were planned for this year now have a different significance. One of the houses (the Manchester one) was always going to be sold with a move to the House in Scotland, nestled close by the sea, being the ultimate aim. Now, whilst the Manchester house has been sold, I won’t be moving to the House in Scotland. But excitingly, I will still be near the sea, as J and I are buying a house on the Fylde coast. For those readers who may have recently moved, you will know what a mixed bag it can be packing up all your worldly goods. You sit and look at photos, books, in fact anything, because they all hold memories. 

Yesterday, I took down a whole load of paintings that have been hanging on the walls for upwards of 20 years. It was in the taking down that I, once again, saw what had inspired me to buy them in the first place. I remembered absolutely, where and what I was doing when they were bought. Happy times in the main. Last week, I brought back from Scotland a large piece of sculpture from my all-time favourite artist, Urpu Sellar and although the collection (which I think is probably the largest of her work) is now halved, again the beauty of looking afresh at her work was uplifting, and not in the least depressing. 

In fact, although the wider context of separation, loss and uncertain futures are daunting, despite the promise of new adventures to come, there have also been many good aspects to my cold meatball of a year. It has been wonderful to be able to give away furniture, TVs, bikes, books, pictures, clothes, and many household goods to friends, family and charities. If anyone needs a consultant to help ‘declutter’ their life, in the words of the great Mr Cohen, "I’m your man.” That said, I currently have a huge storage unit jam-packed with things saved from a lifetime of collecting, a shed bulging at the seams with ‘big boys’ toys’ and every nook and cranny of our present home filled with boxes of things kept for the future. 

And as this year draws to a close, I also want to say that there have been some very special moments for me in 2018. It was the birthday of the NHS – she is just 70 years young. Good people, with skills, knowledge and experience both created and developed the wonderful NHS we have today. Every time I go to a meeting, or walk the wards and departments at my hospital, Wrightington, Wigan and Leigh, I meet some of these people and am reminded of the extra mile so many make in truly making a difference to the lives of others. It is a huge privilege to be part of this family. I have enjoyed the challenge of the #NHS100miles, and although my personal target of walking 2,500 is likely to be 30 miles short by the 31st, it has been wonderful to walk (virtually) amongst such great colleagues and friends during the year. Well done to all of those involved in showing how physical exercise can reduce the illness burden in the UK and enable people to live healthily lives. 

Sadly, I have lost a number of wonderful friends and colleagues during 2018. They all died unexpectedly and have left a big hole in my life. However, I have made many more new friends and colleagues through the #earlyrisersclub. This virtual community, founded by Judith @jcstaff_ and Nikki @Nikki_Ledingham has grown exponentially over the years. Others have joined and lead the early morning Twitter community in welcoming and celebrating each new day. I am confident that they would say ‘don’t judge the year by one cold meatball - there is another year waiting, just around the corner.’ And there is - full of promise and new adventures – I wish all readers of this blog a very happy and positive New Year – Happy 2019.   

Ps – if there is a reader out there already thinking about what to buy me for next year’s Christmas present, have a look at this! Thank you, Vanessa, @veeteeteach for giving me the heads up on this.