Let’s open our hearts to love, hope and kindness shared

It will have been a difficult last week for many people. The horrific and tragic events in Southport and the disturbances that have followed since will have impacted upon so many. The trauma, sadness, and anger that folk will have experienced will not be short-lived. We are already seeing some of those challenges to people’s mental health and wellbeing start to play out. I have been more than impressed with all those working in health and care services, the voluntary sector, the churches, and mosques, and indeed the people from the communities themselves providing such welcome support to those caught up in the attacks. They all remain in my thoughts and prayers.

The events in Southport will touch many others too, and in lots of different ways as well. I know that, as I write this blog, I feel a little guilty about having a happy, highly enjoyable weekend; a weekend spent with friends and family. Yesterday, we attended a family wedding held in the beautiful northern town of Clitheroe, Lancashire. I love weddings. The sun shone, the bride and groom, clearly in love, looked wonderful. The service was in the gothic styled and ancient church of St Mary Magdalene. It is a church that has its origins in the 15th Century. Very romantically, the newlyweds (and guests) walked down the street to their reception in Holmes Mill. We stayed over, and thanks to our goat and hen sitting neighbours, we were able to dance the night away. Although it was a real tonic to be part of such a happy celebration, I did feel slightly guilty about having so much fun.

Getting married has not always been about the love between two people. Way back in the fifth century, marriage was nothing to do with religion or love, and often couples were brought together and married off for reasons of prestige, to secure land or because of their childbearing potential. By the 12th century, thankfully, folk were getting married because of their love for each other. However, getting married wasn’t without its challenges. It was only in 2012, that the law that decreed all marriages must take place between 8am and 6pm, was repealed.

Yesterday I was reminded of our wedding. J and I ‘got married’ three times. We were due to get married in the Spring of 2020. We had spent a year planning and preparing for it. Covid came and that was that - everything was cancelled. It was very depressing to say the least. However, to cheer ourselves up, we prepared gift bags for our neighbours with mini bottles of wine, heart-shaped chocolates and a copy of our, now unusable, printed order of service. This was during lockdown, so I delivered the gifts early one morning.

The following day, we got a text to say please come outside. And there they all were. Socially distanced along the road and grass verge, all dressed up, with glasses filled. They had made a mound of presents and a cake. We sang one of the hymns, took loads of photos and given the circumstances, we had a magical time. It was pure kindness on the part of our neighbours.

Later in the year it was possible to get married with no more than six people being present in the church, including the vicar, bride and groom. So, proper marriage No 1 was on a very wet and windy day in October 2020. It was a beautiful service and J looked stunning in her white wedding dress. It had to be dry cleaned, as the hem and train soaked up the mud and water just walking from the church to the car. It was a dreadful day weather-wise. We made our own sunshine. Wedding No 2 was a year later in September. Like yesterday, we had glorious sunshine, and celebrated with a hundred of our friends and family.

Our vicar was really kind. He adapted the renewal of the marriage vows service (usually only used after 40 years of marriage) to bring some authenticity to the day. Wedding No 3 was a year later and held in our local Italian Bistro. We were minus a vicar. We invited all our new Blackpool friends and neighbours to join us. They had missed out on wedding No 2 and we wanted to treat them to a celebratory occasion. We asked everyone to get dressed up and celebrate our marriage in style. The Bistro owners had decked out the restaurant and made us a wedding cake. J and I walked up the road, J looking wonderful in her wedding dress. The evening was brilliant. We sang hymns, ate fabulous food and probably drank too much, I made a speech, as did one of our neighbours taking on the best man role. It was our way of saying thank you for their wonderful kindness when our wedding was cancelled. It was their kindness that gave us hope, at a time of despair.

That is what this blog is about. Love, kindness, thinking of others, never losing hope and recognising the best in others. At the wedding service the vicar offered up some thoughts on what love is. She ended by saying ‘these three remain: Faith Hope and Love - the greatest of these is Love’. I hope, as we all find our own way of dealing with the awful tragedies in Southport, that we can also all find ways of ensuring there is more love and less hate in the world.