Sunday, 12 January 2025

My heart's not in it

I had already lined up some stories to use when writing this weeks blog. But to be honest, my heart's not in it this week. Following a subarachnoid haemorrhage (a bleed on the brain), my wonderful, beautiful, funny and brilliant wife Jane is lying in a bed in a high care specialist neurology centre. 

Last week, Jane had what was described as a ‘funny turn’ while on a Teams meeting. Her colleagues alerted her HR department, who rang me to make a welfare check. Fortunately due to overnight snow, I had decided to work from home on that day. I found Jane sitting in a pool of vomit in her office, totally bewildered as to how she found herself there. I could write about the importance of all organisations having up to date emergency contact numbers for all staff, but my heart's not in it other than to say thank you to Janes colleagues for raising the alarm so swiftly.

I could write about the wonderful folk at NHS 111 who I then contacted, or the emergency ambulance service who came to assess Jane later in the day. Sadly, whilst all her vital signs were normal we couldn’t persuade her to go to the A&E for further tests. Some 48 hours later, and with her eldest daughters help we persuaded Jane to go the the A&E department. Thankfully, over those first 48 hours, she slept for much of the time. Although I was able to keep her fluid intake at a reasonable level, my anxiety levels rose with every passing hour. However, my heart's not in it to write about these emergency services other than to say thank you to the various emergency folk for all they were able to do for us and do for so many other people too.

I guess I could write about the A&E department, which when we arrived was pretty empty, but rapidly filled up over the ensuing hours. Janes triage went swiftly as did the bloods and ECG assessment. But it was a very long wait to be seen by a doctor. I could write about the whole assessment process, the duplication of questions and the countless retelling of Janes story. I could also write about the corridor care the lack of information as to what was happening as the hours went past or the compassion and consideration of the doctor who told me about the outcome of Janes CAT scan. But my heart's not in it other than to say a big thank you to all these folk for the treatment and care everyone afforded Jane during our time at Blackpool NHS FT. 

So please forgive me for not writing my usual blog this week. My heart's not in it as I sit and wait for news. My guilt at the delay in getting Jane sorted sooner rests like a heavy stone in my heart. I will travel to the neurology centre shortly to be with Jane and the start of what might be a challenging road to recovery for her and us. Please keep Jane in your prayers and thoughts, I know she will need them.